I tell it better

Here’s what happened. We were on our way to dinner when we drove the car through the flooded roadway. I knew we shouldn’t but once started was committed to seeing it through. The water reached the lower part of the car doors as we plowed through. A bulge grew off the front bumper and a wake spread out behind us.

“You’re telling it wrong.” she said. “You forgot the most important part. We had friends in the car with us.”

“I was getting to that. Just be patient.” I replied.

So, like I said, we were on our way to dinner with friends and had picked them up in our car. We drove down the street and saw the flooded roadway ahead.

“You forgot to mention it was our special day.” she injected.

“It wasn’t our anniversary.” I answered.

“Not that day. No. We were going to dinner and tell them about having the baby.” she stated.

“What does that have to do with us driving through a flooded road?” I asked.

“It’s important. Details matter. If you’re not going to tell this story right, I don’t have to sit here and listen to it again.” she fumed.

“Fine. Go. Let me finish.” I snorted.

So, we’re driving through the deep water when our friends in the back seat shout, “There’s water coming in!”

I shout back, “Don’t open the doors!”

“We didn’t,” they scream, “It’s coming up through the floor!”

Off to the side, my wife rolls her eyes and lets our a huffing breath in disgust. I stop telling the story and ask, “What now?”

“Nothing. Just tell your story.” she flatly stated.

“What?” I insist.

“I can’t believe you didn’t remember the purpose of going out was to celebrate my pregnancy with our friends.” she growled.

“I said it.” replying in a guarded tone.

“Only after I reminded you. Typical.” she mumbled the last word.

…And we made it through the water safely. The car didn’t stall. We didn’t get stranded. The water only got the carpet wet. We eventually sold the car in the winter when it didn’t smell so moldy. The end.

What’s the best story someone else has recently told you (in person, preferably)? Share it with us, and feel free to embellish — that’s how good stories become great, after all.

Long time no see, my invisible friend

“Hi, Tim.”

“Who said that?” Tim asked.

“It’s me, your childhood friend. All grown up now.”

“You look old, friend.” Tim said.

“I’m the same age as you.” the voice replied.

“And fat, and bald, and gray where you aren’t bald. Boy, you didn’t age well at all. What happened to you?” Tim said.

“That’s no way to greet a long-lost friend. Those statements are hurtful.”

“But honest. Seriously, what happened to you. The last time we spoke, I was getting married.” Tim said.

“You didn’t need me anymore. You replaced me with someone new.”

“I suppose I did. It’s been more than 27 years now. We are still very happy. The children are adults now. We may someday have one or more of them moving out.” Tim replied. “What about you?”

“I wandered the earth seeking another friend but never found one like you or like you did.” the voice answered. “Look at you. You still have your hair and it’s not gray. How did you manage that?”

“I married my best friend. She made me a better person and the benefits carry on for many years.” Tim responded.


Many of us had imaginary friends as young children. If your imaginary friend grew up alongside you, what would his/her/its life be like today?