100% Brain Function – Still Not Enough

The procedure worked as advertised. Final testing confirmed his brain functioned at 100% capability. He could process information at an amazing rate. There would be some changes at his home to accommodate his new abilities. Faster bandwidth, more screens, more tablets, more phones, more books, the list grew exponentially as he focused on it.

The doctors told him his need for sleep would diminish rapidly. He would learn to put portions of his brain into idling mode when not fully engaged to allow rest. He would master his metabolic rate and restore his body parts without medications. Sickness and disease would become a thing of the past.

He thanked the medical team and drove home. His wife met him at the door with a frown.

“Where are the groceries?” she asked. “Did you remember to pick up my dry cleaning?”

“Um” he responded.

“Did you at least stop at the bank and withdraw cash for the weekend shopping?” she went on.

“Um, no.” he mumbled.

“Still useless I see. I don’t know why I agreed to let you get a brain upgrade. It doesn’t seem to have helped much.” she muttered. “Twelve more days.” she commented.

“Twelve more days and what?” he asked

“Twelve more days until you daughter’s birthday, you idiot. Did they really do the upgrade?” she remarked. “And don’t forget about my mother.” she went on.

“What about your mother?” he asked, cringing.

“I swear. If you didn’t have the stitches and medical paperwork I would think you went somewhere else. You didn’t have a reverse procedure done, did you? Did you donate brain cells instead of getting them all activated?” she demanded.

“Of course not. I got fully activated and tested to confirm it.” he replied holding out the charts.

“Whatever. We’ll have to see if you’re any better after an adjustment period.” she growled.

He didn’t answer. His hopes for humanity were slipping. He had planned on solving the major problems of the world. Hunger, disease, sea level changes, desert growth, famines, clean energy, were just a few items on his personal list.

Here he was at his own home still unable to keep up with his wife in conversation. She changed topics too quickly. Illogical leaps that were completely untraceable to him. The doctors had assured him of 100% capability. It still wasn’t enough.

Let’s assume we do, in fact, use only 10% of our brain. If you could unlock the remaining 90%, what would you do with it?

Verbal Jousting Needs How Many?

A lively group discussion, an intimate tête-à-tête, an inner monologue — in your view, when it comes to a good conversation, what’s the ideal number of people? 

The Canadian Mounted Police have a saying, “One mob, one Mountie, even odds.”

That’s how it is when I’m involved in a lively group discussion. I can work the crowd into a laughing frenzy or a hostile debate, sometimes both if the mood strikes me just right. How many people are too much depends upon the topic. Some rough guidelines to follow are provided here for your consideration.

Sex? Just the two of you.

Bodily functions? Up to three. Shouting for toilet paper to be brought to you is allowed in a family setting.

Health issues? There appears to be no limit to the size of the audience on this one. Stand in line at the grocery store and listen to the seniors describe their ailments in detail to anyone in listening range.

Politics/Religion? It’s an international stage where no one convinces very many to change their minds. Best avoided.

Sports? It varies with the particulars and the gender of the competitors and spectators.

How did curling end up in the Olympics? Those people are considered athletes worthy of competing at the highest level? Come on! It’s ice bowling without pins or beer!

American football? Whatever. Less than one hour of actual play continually interrupted by group planning sessions. “What should we do next? Hey, I know. Let’s try to get past them and move the ball further down the field. If we’re lucky, we can make it all the way and then do it again.”

I could go on, but my wife is standing near me watching me write this. I think she wants to talk to me.