My Life Story as told by…

I used to think, “It’s my life. Who can tell it better than me?” After all, I’m articulate. I can write fairly well. I am able to express myself through the written word. Why would I want someone else to summarize the events of my existence? The answer – objectivity.

Every precious thought that travels through my head is filtered. Each memory, experience, and synapse firing is influenced and warped by every preceding one. My perception of my life can never be fully expressed or adequately translated for others to receive the total immersion into my awesomeness. That makes me sad.

The best I can hope for is for someone almost equally gifted with words to get to know me as best they can and convert their outside observations into the meager approximation of my life. Who should it be? Good question. Let’s explore some candidates from Hollywood.

  • Director Michael Bay. Perhaps not. Beyond some teenage and young adult incidents with fireworks, there have not been sufficient gratuitous explosions occurring in my life to support his story presentation style.
  • Director Joss Whedon. I am a fan of Firefly and Serenity, but I’m no space cowboy.
  • Quentin Tarantino? No. I’m not headed for the nuthouse like he is.
  • M. Night Shyamalan? Again. I’m not a supernatural thriller.

Maybe I should give this some more thought. Should I find a politician’s biographer instead? Someone with experience at blending fact and fiction to portray their subject in the best possible way? Tempting.

From a famous writer or celebrity, to a blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?

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