The Last Teenager Speaks

There he goes again. He’s in “Dad mode.” Why can’t he just leave me alone? I’m not bothering anyone. The online players know my head shots aren’t personal. It’s all just a game.

What’s he saying? I’m so glad I got these awesome Turtle Beach headphones for my birthday. Dad really did his homework on the best noise blocking and surround sound set on the market. I can barely hear what he’s rambling about from the doorway. Probably something about the trash. Maybe the mail. What’s his problem anyway. He could check it on the way up the driveway. I don’t walk past the mailbox like I used to when going to school.

Huh? Bottled water? Oh yeah. My sister is sooooo specific about her chinchillas and their needs. No chlorinated tap water for them. Got to go get reverse-osmosis filtered water at the store.

Is he still talking? A job? I’m not ready for that yet. I just bought the new version of this game and I have to level up before my friends do. First I’ll race through every level to unlock them. Then I’ll come back and explore each one carefully for all the hidden items and upgrades. After a few days I should be able to go online and see who’s posted where the really hard ones are and use their notes to solve the puzzles.

This game is not that repetitive. After each upgrade my armor changes color or I add a new emblem. It’s practically a whole new experience each time. I think I’ll challenge myself to play the next level using melee weapons only. No ranged weapons at all. Up close and personal.

The pets? They’re my sister’s problem. Yeah, yeah. I know she needs help. I didn’t want her to get that many animals anyway. This is at least one thing me and my dad agree upon. The rabbit is my buddy. I don’t mind him.

“Dad,” I said, “I hear you all the time. It’s always the same thing. Do this, do that, do something. I’m taking a break and playing a few games before I have to get a job and go to work the next 50 years. Let me have this time.”

Wow. Dad stopped talking. He just stood there with his mouth open like he was going to say something, but then closed it and turned away. What was that all about? Oh well.

“Hey, Ratsnest99. The secret to the silent takedown is to turn the proper way when you hear the twig snap. My surround sound headphones really help out here. When the noise comes from behind and to the left, turning to the right takes too long and you fail. You have to turn directly into the sound. The split second timing makes a difference…”


Yesterday, your pet/baby/inanimate object could read your post. Today, they can write back (thanks for the suggestion, lifelessons!). Write a post from their point of view (or just pick any non-verbal creature/object).

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