I Know Every Word

Time to confess: tell us about a time when you used a word whose meaning you didn’t actually know (or were very wrong about, in retrospect).

For those of you that have browsed my About page, you’ve seen this. The ability to string big words together comes naturally. It stems from a competitive sibling environment where puns reigned supreme and verbal Judo was the norm.

If I don’t know it, I can fake it with confidence. Most people will not admit their own ignorance and back down from a challenge. I know from experience that you can be the smartest person in the room by just a little bit, and that is enough. No one needs to know if the difference is measured in millimeters or kilometers. Being ahead by any distance is sufficient to win.

I’m not pompous, just brilliant. Observe:

Allow me to pontificate in erudite terminology to demonstrate my lexical superiority for those fortunate enough to be beneficiaries of my intellectual creations. This summary provides a glimpse into the cerebral prominence available to my audience.

Readers will benefit from the enormity of my ability to transform meager communications into radiant examples of obfuscation that frustrate lesser individuals from penetrating their true meaning. The conversion from clear language into elevated phrases only graspable by the scarce initiated provides a filter that inhibits scrutiny and creates collaborative barriers to the market space.

4 thoughts on “I Know Every Word

  1. Ahhhh. You’re the technical writer for my last employer. There where the abstruse presided over the unambiguous, no jot was left unsullied. Nice to meet you. 🙂

    • I normally reserve my verbal superpowers for creative blogging.
      Most people wilt if the brilliance radiates too strongly in person. 😉

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