There’s Spam in my Blog

You’ve been given the opportunity to send one message to one person you wouldn’t normally have access to (for example: the President. Kim Kardashian. A coffee grower in Ethiopia). Who’s the person you choose, and what’s the message? 

My message is to the spammers of the world. You know them. They’re the ones who stick random comments on your posts and try to ping back to their own sites for increased traffic.

Fellow WordPress bloggers, join me in dissecting some spam comments on my posts. Yesterday my filter caught a BIG ONE. Before deleting the spammer from my comments queue, I copied and pasted the text into MS Word. It goes on for 9 pages!

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I
never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It is} pretty worth enough
for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content
as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting. {Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed}
as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service….

My guess is that a SEO newbie accidentally dumped the contents of their automated spam generator into their output message. Hilarious!

I’m entertained by the interchangeable terms embedded in the sentences. If you take them in the wrong combination, some results are really funny. Others are simply pathetic.

Woah! I’m really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of
this {site|website|blog}. It’s simple, yet effective.
A lot of times it’s {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard} to get that “perfect balance” between {superb usability|user friendliness|usability} and {visual appearance|visual appeal|appearance}.
I must say {that you’ve|you have|you’ve} done a {awesome|amazing|very good|superb|fantastic|excellent|great} job with this.

Aw! Thanks! Wait. This isn’t genuine praise. This person is using an a piece of software to churn out this false flattery.

Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing} which blog platform you’re {workingwith|using}? I’m {looking|planning|going} to start my own blog {in the near future|soon} but I’m having a {tough|difficult|hard} time {making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your {design and style|design|layout} seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something {completely unique|unique}. P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being} off-topic but I had to ask!|

Duh! I’m on WordPress. If you scroll to the bottom of anybody’s page, you can see the theme they’re using (except custom ones).

I’m currently using The Misty Lake free theme. As a recently started blogger, I’m still tinkering with my site.

{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give
you a quick heads up. The {text|words} in your {content|post|article}
seem to be running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
I’m not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or something to do with {web browser|internet browser|browser} compatibility but I
{thought|figured} I’d post to let you know. The {style and design|design and style|layout|design} look great though!

Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon. {Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|

So, sometimes it’s not all praise or good news.

What do you mean there’s a problem with my blog? Have I been hacked? OMG! How do I fix my blog to work properly with EVERY BROWSER in the world? Can you help me if I send you piles of money?


All I can say in summary is thanks for the spam filters WordPress.

6 thoughts on “There’s Spam in my Blog

  1. Thank God for spam filters, otherwise the excess of spam here or elsewhere would drive me insane.

    I recently rediscovered my old yahoo e-mail account and was stunned by the amount of crap that accumulates within. Yahoo has TERRIBLE spam filters.

    Funny and entertaining read!

  2. Thanks.
    I wonder if I post the full nine pages if I’d float to the top of Google searches?
    If all those alternate terms are for the purpose of search engine optimization (SEO), it should.

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Make It Count | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

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